


Boys Over Magic, or Hermione and the S4

by bionically



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humour, Loony Theodore Nott, Oblivious Hermione Granger, Pining Draco Malfoy, Remix, Scheming Ginny Weasley, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 00:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17949794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bionically/pseuds/bionically
Summary: The War's over, but not at Hogwarts.Meet the S4, and the Muggleborn witch who's determined to go up against their leader.Dramione inspired by Boys Over Flowers.





	Boys Over Magic, or Hermione and the S4

The war was over, but some of the students who should have graduated the year before were still at Hogwarts and some things hadn't changed.

 

Case in point, the common refrain that sounded behind the two Slytherin students: “Granger, hey, Granger!”

 

There was a groan like a rattling train from Blaise. “What is he doing now?”

 

“I thought you were going to have a talk with him.” Pansy’s lips barely moved as she turned around to watch the trainwreck about to happen.

 

“Hey Granger,” Draco was saying in a taunting manner. Pansy thought he had rather bravely left his entire body open to an attack. “Look what I've got.”

 

All of them watched as Draco lifted one foot and then the next.

 

Hermione stopped in her tracks to frown at the sight. “Are those—are those the socks I knitted for the house elves?!”

 

Draco admired his handiwork. “Yep.”

 

“You've put all of them on? Over your shoes?” Hermione's voice grew steadily in volume and ire.  

 

Draco's smile grew and grew. “That's right. Guess whose plan to save the elves failed?”

 

“What is wrong with you? You can barely walk with them all on. You're an idiot!” Hermione said before flouncing out of the great hall.

 

Draco turned his smirk on his housemates. “Look how riled up she got. Score one for me.”

 

Blaise and Pansy were shaking their heads in unison, whether out of pity or derision, it was hard to tell by now. They didn’t want to say it to their friend, but something had definitely gone wrong in Draco during the war. The fact that he was wobbling around in shoes completely encased almost half a foot high in woolen socks was just one more indicator.

 

Blaise sighed before returning to his magazine. “Would you just ask her out already?”

 

“Ask...whom out?” Draco's cheeks turned pink.

 

“Gran-ger." Pansy drew out the words slowly. She felt if she said it slow enough, it might actually penetrate his brain.

 

“W-why would I ask her out? Psh, _Granger_? What? _Gross_! I mean, she's the one with the crush on me and everything.” Draco’s face was slowly turning into a tomato.

 

Blaise rubbed at one temple and tossed aside his magazine to focus on his friend. “No, I'm pretty sure she's not. You’re the one who’s been staring at her for the past five years. Minus the one year where she wasn’t here, obviously.”

 

“Only to make fun of her!” Draco said, sitting straight up in his seat.

“Oh, really? Oh, hey, Granger,” Blaise said to a spot somewhere over Draco’s shoulder.

 

Draco knocked his books to the floor with a clatter as he hurriedly stood and turned. No one was standing behind him. He turned a scowl on Blaise, who smiled angelically back at him.

 

Pansy rolled her eyes. “Is it because she hit you back in third year, Draco? Did she put her mark on you? Did widdle Dwaco become mawked by wove?”

 

“You shut up!” Draco shouted before looking around and lowering his voice. “You’re interrupting my thoughts, anyway. What should I do next to prank her?”

 

Blaise nodded in mock understanding. “Exceedingly deep thoughts.”

 

“I really can't take any more of this,” Pansy said, half to herself.

 

“It's incredibly painful to watch,” Blaise said, reaching across the table for his magazine again. 

 

They watched with alternating looks of consternation and bewilderment as Draco muttered to himself.

 

“I've got it!” Draco said. “Maybe I'll replace all her books with my books.”

 

“Why would that even be a good prank?” Pansy made a gesture to point out the obvious. “You're in most of the same classes!”

 

Draco pouted. “Well, she'll miss her notes and realize that _I_ have them. She'll know that I did it.”

 

“Draco,” Blaise said, slowly and carefully lowering the magazine to stare at Draco over the top of the pages. “Do you _want_ Granger to like you back?”

 

“Back? What?” Draco reared back. “Are you two on that again? She's the one who's in love with _me_.”

 

Blaise and Pansy exchanged a look before turning back to Draco.

 

“How do you figure that, mate?” Blaise asked in a deadpan voice after Pansy had given a wave of her hand, indicating for him to go first.

 

Draco wore a foolish smile on his face. “She wouldn't have hexed me last week if she felt nothing.”

 

“How do you figure that?” Pansy asked. “I'm pretty sure she hexed you because you were teasing her. I’m also pretty sure after having gone head to head with Snatchers that she’s not having any more shite.”

 

Draco shifted uneasily in his chair. “Well...I didn't know then that she was in love with me, did I? Otherwise I'd have been easier on her.”

 

“He doesn't even make sense anymore,” Pansy said to Blaise behind her hand.

 

Blaise shook his head at her as though labeling her with the same idiot-brush. “You just haven’t been paying close enough attention. He’s been doing this since we were kids for the same purpose.” He leaned forward to peer earnestly at Draco. “Listen, mate. Let me introduce you to some witches I know. They'd love to meet you, the defector that changed the course of the war and all that. What do you say?”

 

“Witches?” Draco’s face screwed up as though he smelled something bad.

 

Pansy nodded emphatically. “Yes, _witches._ Plural. Ones who would actually be interested in you. Who needs just one, right?”

 

“Oh, I've already got someone interested in me.” Draco gave a self-satisfied smirk, leaning back in his chair and linking his hands behind his head. “Someone in love with me, as a matter of fact.”

 

“Oh, Merlin,” Pansy said as Blaise shook his head again.

 

* * *

 

 

“ARGH!!” yelled Hermione off the Astronomy Tower.

 

Theo barely lifted up his head from where he was lying in a prone position on top of the railing. “Still shouting up here?”

 

Hermione’s eyes bugged as she took in his position and she whipped out her wand. “Oh God, don’t move."

 

“Relax. I’ve got a sticking charm on me.”

 

“Oh. Alright.” Hermione cleared her throat, slowly lowering her wand. “Can you do something about your friend? Malfoy, that is. I mean, the war’s over. Why does he still have to annoy me at every turn?”

 

Theo lay on top of the half wall fencing in the outer balcony as carelessly as though he were in his dormitory bed. “I can’t be bothered to worry about that bloke. And how come you keep on coming up here anyway? You know I’m always here during break.”

 

Hermione snuck a look at Theo from beneath her lashes. “Er, well, the view’s nice.”

 

“Well, have fun with your yelling.” Theo undid his sticking charm and dropped to his feet. He strolled to the stairs before turning back to frown mildly at her. “Don’t yell too much. It echoes down there.”

 

“Wait! Er...what do you think of the new Defense professor?”

 

“Useless. It’s not as though we need that class after all that we—well, most of us, anyway—have been through. Cheerio.”

 

“Bye,” Hermione whispered to his back and after he was gone, sank down to sit on the floor right where he had been laying on the railing.

 

* * *

 

There was an old friend waiting for them at dinner at the Overflow Table, as the seating for the returning students was called.

 

“Daphne!” Pansy said. “You’re back in England for good then?”

 

“Yes. I came back to take the NEWTs.”

 

Blaise raised his brows. “Does Theo know?” 

 

Daphne gave a delicate shrug. “I didn’t tell him. Should I have?”

 

“Daphne!” Theo exclaimed, sliding to a sudden stop in front of the table, which was now just one rectangular table at one end of the Hall along with many other similar tables placed at regular intervals to replace the long House-sorted tables. “When did—when did you get here? Are you going to be staying at Hogwarts?”

 

“Yes, apparently I had to take the NEWTs here to get any sort of Ministry position in France.” Daphne smiled and gave Theo a one-armed hug which he returned by completely burying his face into her hair.

 

“Ahem. Theo.”

 

The group turned to see Hermione standing there, gazing at all of them with wary eyes. “Er, here are the notes from Charms class,” Hermione said. She stood shifting from one foot to the other before belatedly handing the parchment over to Theo.

 

Theo nodded his thanks and took the notes from Hermione without taking his face out of Daphne’s hair. “Oh, right, thanks.”

 

Daphne extricated herself gently and gave the other girl a smile. “Hi, Hermione. Long time no see.”

 

“Yes.” Hermione’s eyes were fixed on the touching couple. “Are—are you two together now?”

 

Daphne laughed, a tinkling sound that rang in the air as she patted Theo’s head. “Oh, no. We’re just old friends, that’s all.”

 

“Were you waiting for me, Granger?” Draco’s voice rang through the hall as he popped up behind her. “I could see that bushy hair a mile away!”

 

Hermione rolled her eyes, clamping her lips so tightly together they disappeared. She tried to walk away, but Draco caught her upper arms from behind. “Look at these skinny little arms. Maybe all Muggleborns are this scrawny, eh?”

 

Hermione used her heel to kick Draco backwards in the shins, so that he yelped and dropped his hold on her arms to hop around on one foot. “Shut up, you stupid poncey git!” she snapped before stomping away.

 

The other former Slytherins looked around awkwardly until Draco had stopped hopping about to beam to them. “You see that? She called me a poncey git.”

 

“Yes, so?” Pansy asked.

 

“She obviously thinks I’m well-dressed.”

 

Everyone except Draco groaned in response.

 

* * *

 

In the library after dinner, Daphne glanced up in surprise as Hermione pulled out a chair at her table and sat down. Hermione stared straight back at her. There were many other tables in the library that were still unoccupied.

 

“May I speak with you?” Hermione asked through lips that didn’t move, as though she had geared herself up to approach Daphne.

 

Daphne was mildly curious. “Of course?”

 

After glancing in unison at Madam Pince, they trooped out of the library and stood in the hallway. Daphne waited politely for Hermione to speak.

 

“Are you going to stay in England?” Hermione asked straight off the bat.

 

Daphne considered the other girl for a moment, then decided to also be blunt as well. “No, but is that any business of yours?”

 

Hermione took a deep breath. “You should reconsider. About staying in England, that is. For Theo.”

 

Daphne let out a soft laugh and leaned back against the stone wall. “Why would I stay in England for Theo?”

 

Hermione’s eyes were so steady they could have drilled a hole in Daphne. “Because. He’s in love with you.”

 

Daphne waved a hand in dismissal. “He’s a boy. He doesn’t know what he wants.”

 

“He’s been in love with you forever.”

 

“A boy’s love. Let’s talk about you instead. I never got to speak with you before and after the war, but we all have you to thank for a lot of things. Well, you and Harry Potter. And probably Ron Weasley. But you’re the only one who came back, so you know—thanks.”

 

“It’s really nothing.” Hermione looked abashed for the first time since the conversation started.

 

“Don’t be so modest. You’ve even got Draco Malfoy dancing attendance on you. I mean, it’s Draco Malfoy. What he did to you when we were kids was awful.”

 

“He’s still awful.” Hermione’s lips were pressed paper-thin in an effort to not sound off on the subject.

 

“Still. You’ve changed the world, starting with him.”

 

Hermione returned to her preferred subject. “You won’t change your mind then? About staying in England?”

 

Daphne tilted her head to the side and surveyed Hermione. “I envy Theo. He’s got a good friend in you. You’re really looking out for him, aren’t you?” She leaned forward. “Just between us, he was such a weird little thing when we were young. It used to freak the other kids out. He would stare at a wall for hours, and if anyone asked what he was staring at, he would burst into laughter. Or he would say, looking in-between worlds. I guess he's grown up a bit.”

 

Hermione considered some of the things Theo had said since she had gotten to known him a bit better. “No, he still says those things.”

 

Daphne looked uncertain. “Oh. Okay. Well. Kudos to you for looking beyond that and being a good friend?”

 

“Yeah,” Hermione said with a heavy sigh. “I’ll let you get back to your studies.”

 

Daphne gazed at her with curious green eyes. “Shouldn't you be studying too? You missed an entire year. Or are they letting you skip it like Potter and Weasley?”

 

“I’m still taking it.”

 

“Good luck to both of us, huh?” Daphne said with an encouraging smile.

 

She really was too much of a lady. On top of that, she also had perfect teeth without any visible dental work whatsoever. “Thanks,” Hermione muttered before trudging off.

 

* * *

 

“You should be with Daphne,” Hermione could be found saying to Theo in the Astronomy Tower past curfew. The returning students had quite a bit of leeway in order to “catch up with their studies.” A lot of catching up had been done, but almost nothing to do with studying.

 

Theo didn't look up from where he was doing the tree pose on top of the railing. “I'm busy here, you know.”

 

“Couldn't you do that somewhere more traditional? On a flat surface, for example.”

 

Theo dropped to the ground. “Where's the challenge in that?”

 

Hermione fingered a hole in the bricks of the wall. “Er...so I just spoke to Daphne. She's not going to stay in England after she takes the NEWTs.”

 

“I knew that already.”

 

“You should go to France after her.” Her heart was in her eyes as Hermione blinked up at Theo. “You need to make her see how you feel.”

 

“She'd need to learn Legilimency for that.” Theo laughed at his own joke.

 

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I was speaking in a more metaphorical sense.”

 

Theo took a deep breath as though debating whether an argument with Hermione would result in his winning or not. “Fine. I'll think about it. In the bow pose.”

 

“I'll leave you to it then.”

 

Hermione slowly walked down the stairs of the Astronomy Tower and let herself back into the dark hallway leading to the school. Except she bumped first into a wall that hadn't been there earlier.

 

“Oomph!”

 

Hermione lit her wand and groaned when she saw who it was. She brandished her wand in a threatening manner. “Are you following me, Malfoy?”

 

“No!” he said defensively in a voice that didn't ring true. She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn't know where he had gotten the talent for occlumency, but he really should have devoted more time to learning how to tell a straight-faced lie.

 

“Alright, I don't even care.” Hermione pushed past him.

 

“Where are you going now?” he called after her.

 

She gave him an incredulous look over her shoulder. “To my dorm. To sleep. Or did you need to know more information, like how many times I brush my teeth a day or what time I go to sleep?”

 

Draco shrugged in a non-committal manner as he strolled alongside her. “I don't know. Maybe. If you wanted to tell me.”

 

Hermione shot him a look laced with disgust and suspicion. “Why are you being weird? Is this a new prank?”

 

“Urr, yes. Of _course_ that's the only reason I'd be hanging around you.” Draco rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion. “To find more ways to prank you. Obviously.”

 

Hermione’s expression was a cross between wanting to take the high road and the desire to deck him in the face. She took a deep breath as she decided on the former. “You're annoying.” She whisked herself down the hall.

 

He kept up alongside her.

 

“Now what?” she growled in exasperation. Then, because her thoughts from earlier were threatening to drown her, she asked, “Hey, Malfoy, do you think love is being quiet about your feelings and letting the other party live their own life the way they see fit, no interference whatsoever?”

 

He stopped short. “What? No way. Letting the other person live their life with no interference whatsoever? I've never heard of such rubbish. Obviously love means lots and lots of attention. Smothering attention. Lots of constant supervision and spying on them. That’s how I grew up and no one loves their kids more than Malfoys. Following them around also works. And er, other stuff that I haven't been doing to anyone. At all.”

 

Hermione’s brows were furrowed as she considered what he had just said. “That's the strangest definition of love I've ever heard.”

 

Draco shrugged. “I don't know. Lots of Muggle books have it like that. And their cinema too.”

 

“Cinema—? Oh, you mean movies.”

 

“I mean, I've read what these Muggle girls think and they all think that you have to stand guard inside a girl's room late at night without her knowing to show her that you mean business. I mean, love. Love business.”

 

Hermione turned to face him, sighing in annoyance. “You know that's not real, right? I mean, nobody should be doing that kind of stuff. It's a crime. Plus, it’s just plain creepy.”

 

“Oh. Erm. Really?” His voice came out as a squeak.

 

“ _Really._ ”

 

“Well, how else do they know then? That you love—like them?” He made a scoffing noise and rolled his eyes. “I mean, not that I need to know for myself or anything. Just, you know, hypothetically speaking.”

 

“You ask. Them. Out.” Hermione couldn't help but think that he had clearly been missing some formative lessons growing up. “It's the same as wizards, Malfoy.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“We're not a different species, you know. We don't have mud in our veins and we're not born with pitchforks in our hands.”

 

“I know that!”

 

“Alright then. It's just that I thought you were dating Pansy.” She looked at him with a confused and suspicious expression on her face. “But you sound a bit... invested in this business. Got a Muggle you like?”

 

Draco shrugged defensively. “Who said I was dating Pansy? No bloody way we would date. Plus, she only dates really old men. Like a decade older, at least.”

 

“Oh.” Hermione was taken aback at his vehemence. “Is it Harry then?”

 

“What!”

 

“He was raised by Muggles. And, well, it's just that you never let up on him. I mean, _ever._  Ron thought you had it in for him, but I just thought you had a thing _for_ him.”

 

“I'm not gay!”

 

Hermione cast a clinical gaze over him, her eyes lingering on his coiffed hair and drifting down to his tie, which was still tied in a full Windsor knot despite the hour. “Are you sure? You should experiment at least to find out. You really were obsessed with him.”

 

“I’m completely sure I was never, at any point, attracted to Harry bloody Potter!”

 

“Fine.” Hermione sighed and lifted a resigned shoulder. “Too bad. Now I owe Ginny five galleons.”

 

“You bet that I was gay?” His consternation came out as a high-pitched yelp.

 

“Well, you do take exceptional care of your appearance. And you care a lot about the appearances of others. You were always making fun of Ron's clothes...my hair… Harry's everything...” she trailed off suggestively, giving him an expectant look.

 

“Well, I'm not, dammit. And you have damned nice hair! It's very full, you know. You'll never have to worry about baldness.”

 

“Not really helping your case.”

 

“Argh!” Face flushing red, Draco threw up his hands and slouched off.

 

Still in the closet, Hermione thought, and kind of a nutter too. As she watched him slouch off without a swagger, she considered whether excessive Legilimency could wreak havoc to someone’s brains. She had read some treatises on the subject before, but they had been pretty ambiguous on the subject. Going by Harry’s paranoia to this day, she would have to say that the answer was leaning toward the affirmative.

 

* * *

 

There was an even more lively air in Hogwarts that weekend, despite there being a torrential rain. Several of the NEWTs had been that week. Daphne had hugged her friends after taking four NEWTs and left Hogwarts for France. After Daphne's send-off at the Headmistress's floo, her friends went down to the front hall to stand in front of the clock.

 

Hermione was waiting there for Theo. She took one look at his sad face and drooping shoulders before she launched into a diatribe. “You idiot! Did you tell her you liked her or not?”

 

“Yeah!” Draco chimed in his agreement while Pansy and Blaise shook their heads slowly behind his back.

 

“Pot calling the kettle black,” Blaise coughed into his fist.

 

Theo scratched the back of his neck and nodded slowly. “You're right. You're all right. I should have told her. Gone after her. I'm going to go after her right now!”

 

Hermione looked dismayed. “What? I mean, well, it _is_ the weekend. But have you finished taking all your NEWTs? Because that should always be a priority over love. It kind of impacts the rest of your life.”

 

Theo shrugged. “I can make them up later. You've all convinced me.”

 

“Don't you have to apply for a Portkey to France?” Pansy was staring at him skeptically with her arms crossed.

 

“And probably get a permission slip from the Headmistress or something,” said Blaise. He looked thoughtful, as though weighing the amusement he’d derive from watching his friend leave school for love versus his misgivings about such an emotion.

 

“This is true love!” shouted Draco. “You should go after her immediately.”

 

Hermione shook her head, her eyes wide. “This is a terrible idea. Send an owl first or something. Where would you even stay once you got there?”

 

“With her, of course!” Draco said, silver eyes blazing. He placed both of his hands on Theo's shoulders and shook his friend slightly. “Go for it. And just to show my support, I'll let you take my seal for my family mansion in Paris in case you need a place to take her. You know, somewhere romantic.”

 

“Do you two approve of this idea?” Hermione asked Pansy and Blaise.

 

They shrugged.

 

“Eh, why not?” Pansy said. “Ten galleons he'll be sent back the following week?”

 

“Twenty on the next day,” replied Blaise.

 

“You two are horrible,” Hermione said, but her comment was ignored as the two escorted Theo back to the Headmistress’s office.

 

Draco fidgeted next to her. “So, erm, do you want to—er, so I was thinking—”

 

Hermione listened with half an ear as she focused on the sight of Theo’s back, possibly the last time she’d ever see him again.  

 

A cat's screech rent the air, and Filch came tearing through the hall after the feline, screaming obscenities.

 

“—these nasty, horrible students—why, I have half a mind to toss them all out on their ears, just see if I don't!”

 

“—go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend—”

 

“And you two, don't think that you can take advantage of being older to get one over Argus Filch!” the caretaker shouted at them as he stomped past.

 

“Wonder what that was about,” Hermione said, turning back to Draco. “Sorry, were you saying something?”

 

He was staring open-mouthed at her. Then he snapped his mouth shut and pointed a finger at her. “You heard me, Granger! Don't you dare be late! Eleven o'clock! Train station!”

 

Then he, too, stomped off.

 

Hermione shook her head at his retreating back. “Definitely too much Legilimency,” she said to herself. Then she shrugged and walked back to her dorm.

 

* * *

 

“Here’s your five galleons,” Hermione said to Ginny back in the dorm.

 

Ginny frowned before pocketing the money. “Thanks? What’s this from?”

 

Hermione shrugged. “Malfoy told me he’s not gay, but I think he’s still in denial. Still, here’s your money. I want it back if he ever comes out.”

 

“He’s not gay, and he won’t,” Ginny said with a definitive air, taking the money back out and counting the coins before pocketing them again.

 

“But all the signs,” Hermione protested, for all as though she were arguing a theory in History of Magic. “And he admitted he wasn’t dating Pansy, despite the show they've put on for all these years. That’s pretty suspicious, isn’t it? Don’t you think he’s just in denial?”

 

“Mm-hmm. How exactly did you find out he’s not gay?”

 

“He told me. Told me some weird stuff about how love means smothering someone with attention and following them around. Something about Muggles liking that.” Hermione suddenly gasped and turned wide eyes on Ginny. “Do you think he’s about to stalk some Muggle person?”

 

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Not about to. Probably already has been. Some Muggleborn witch, probably,” she said, giving Hermione a pointed look which went unnoticed.

 

Hermione mulled over this, chewing on her lip. “Hmm. Very suspicious. He’s been following me around too, just popping up all the time out of nowhere. He’s probably going to use me to find out more information on stalking Muggles. The bastard.”

 

Ginny sighed and rolled her eyes at the ceiling this time. “Smartest witch of her age, my arse.”

 

Hermione waved a hand in dismissal. “Whatever. The war’s over. I can’t be bothered about it. Let’s talk about what we’re going to do in Hogsmeade this weekend. Visit some of the newer shops?”

 

Ginny glanced at the older girl out of the corner of her eyes. “You sure you don’t want to spend the time with _Theo_ instead?”

 

“Ginny!” Hermione blushed.

 

“It’s _really_ obvious, Hermione. I mean, _really_ , really obvious. You study all the time during testing week, except for when you’re staring at him with puppy dog eyes.”

 

“I don’t!”

 

“Fine. Whatever. At least Daphne’s out of the way now, so you can make your move. Still, Theo’s a bit weird, isn’t he?”

 

“No, I can't.” Hermione heaved a long sigh and flopped on top of Ginny's bed. “I may have just sent him to France after her.”

 

“Smart. Way to win over a bloke.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore!”

 

“Good. Because the S4 aren’t really that interesting, despite what most of their fans think.”

 

“S4?” Hermione sat up with a frown of confusion at the unknown term. She wondered if it was a new test term and fidgeted with the need to look it up right then and there.

 

“Super Sexy Slytherin Serpents. Four S’s.”

 

Hermione almost gagged. “They’re not really called that, are they?”

 

“I don’t know, I just made up something really quickly. Maybe it just stands for the Four Slytherins.”

 

“Who are the four?”

 

“The four graduates that came back this year. Pansy, Blaise, Draco, and Theo. Draco’s the most popular, though.”

 

“Ugh, why?”

 

Ginny shrugged. “I’m thinking it’s his Death Eater status. It makes him a bad boy. The newer students are eating that stuff up. They’re young. They romanticise war.”

 

Hermione snorted in disbelief. “But who would want a bad boy in real life? They’re so high maintenance and always with the brooding and the temper tantrums. Plus, they don’t do any house work.”

 

“Don’t ask me. I prefer the heroes, obviously. And Harry’s exceedingly house-trained. Have you tried his pancakes?”

 

“They’re not bad. Oh, you know what the attraction is? It might be because of Malfoy’s albino-ness.” Hermione’s eyes were narrowed as she cast about for theories. “The reason albinism wasn’t culled from earlier cultures was because they were seen as ‘special,’ so they were exempted from hunting and war. The albino men just sat in the tents with the women when the men went out on a hunt, so more and more albino children were born.”

 

Ginny nodded thoughtfully. “Sneaky. Sounds like the Malfoys all right.”

 

The two girls chatted some more before Hermione left. After she left, Ginny took out a large notebook and flipped to a page in the middle, bearing the title “When Will Malfoy Ask Out Hermione Granger?” and rechecked the date she had wagered. Then she smirked over the older bet of “Will Hermione Ever Ask Out Theodore Nott?” Then, with a smirk, she charmed the notebook back to looking like a textbook and slid it into the pile of books next to her bed.

 

* * *

 

Hermione was having as good a time in Hogsmeade as anyone who was stressed out about how she did on the NEWTs could, while simultaneously not wondering what Theo was doing. She made sure to laugh extra loud whenever her brain even _thought_ of detouring from the topics before her.

 

“Are you okay?” Luna asked at one point.

 

Hermione stopped laughing immediately. If someone wearing a squid hat with actual moving tentacles had to ask that, then one apparently had gone over the brink. “I'm fine. NEWTs, you know. I want to find out how I did.”

 

“I'm sure you did well. But Ginny and I don't take ours until the spring. I'm sorry we can't discuss the questions with you.”

 

That was nice of Luna. She usually was quite a nice person if one could disregard her wardrobe and her dreaminess. And Hermione really _did_ like to rehash all the questions and their answers.

 

Seeing the frown on her face, Luna added, “Maybe you can ask the other returning students?”

 

Hermione chewed on her lip. “Yeah. Oh, there's Padma. I'll go ask her about Transfiguration.”

 

So Hermione spent most of the time in Hogsmeade grabbing her fellow returning students to ask what they answered on this or that question. After having thoroughly freaked out the majority of them who hadn't written as much or as long as Hermione on their test papers—and no one had—Hermione sat there wondering if she really had done the best she could on the tests.

 

Thanks to Luna, she finally wasn’t thinking about Theo anymore. All she really wanted to do was ask more people about the Potions and Arithmancy exams, as those were the hardest subjects by far. After pouncing on a couple of Ravenclaws, Terry Boot and Michael Corner, who were hiding from her behind a pillar without so much as a glamour (amateurs!), she thoroughly rehashed the exam questions and possible answers again.

 

Finally, Michael said through gritted teeth, “I don't know what I put for the question about mixing three or more pollen extracts with a sulphuric ingredient! Go ask someone else! I'm not even that interested in potions!”

 

“Yeah!” Terry said with arms crossed in a belligerent manner, reminding Hermione just why she always forgot about him as soon as she left his presence.

 

“Fine,” she snapped before walking away. Then Michael's words struck her. Only five people had taken the potions NEWTs, and Padma had freely admitted she probably failed the test. Then, there was Draco Malfoy. Where was that prancey prat anyway? She hadn't seen blond hair nor green tie of him since earlier in the day when he had looked at her across the hall and raised his brows meaningfully until she rolled her eyes and looked away.

 

Strange.

 

Hogsmeade weekend. Train station. Eleven o'clock. Wait a minute. Had he been trying to tell her something?

 

Hermione's breath came and went. Yes! She had been wrong about Malfoy before and Harry had been right. Being wrong had stayed with her, since obviously she was not used to being wrong and didn’t expect to make it a habit.

 

Now, her defense mechanisms were on high alert against Malfoy, and he had been going on and on about watching Muggles while they slept.

 

Serial killers also liked people to know what they were doing, or killing, in secret.

 

That was it. Malfoy planned on confessing to her. Confessing his dastardly sins, that was. His conscience was weighing on him, and she had almost missed his admission!

 

It was now two-thirty. Even serial killers in need of a father confessor had their limits. Hermione had never run so fast in her life before. He wasn't going to still be waiting, was he? And if he got sick of waiting, who would suffer for it? That did it, Hermione really needed to start keeping closer tabs on him. After all, he already had a mark against him on his record. Nobody would blame her for profiling him as a bad’un.

 

“I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THREE HOURS!” Draco greeted her with an angry roar from next to a pillar at the train station.

 

Hermione stopped in her tracks. “Weren’t we supposed to meet at eleven?”

 

“Yes!”

 

Hermione frowned in confusion. “Then it should have been three and a half hours. Were you late?”

 

“It took me a while to fix my hair,” he muttered.

 

Hermione stared at his hair, trying to figure out what he had done that supposedly made him late to his own self-made, one-sided appointment. It looked the same as always, albeit a bit flatter. “Were you going for the fresh out of the shower look?”

 

“No! I got...rained on because I forgot to bring an umbrella.”

 

“You’re a wizard,” she said, wondering why she had to point out the obvious to a Pureblooded wizard. “You can do a drying charm. Or a Bubble-Head charm.”

 

“Bubble-Head charms ruin my hair,” he said with a scowl, looking everywhere but at her. “And I can’t do a drying charm without a mirror.”

 

Hermione lost interest in his hair. “Alright...Well, now I’m here. What did you want to tell me?” She made sure she remained a good distance away from him, wand loosely gripped in her hand, legs shoulder-width apart for balance and easy swiveling.

 

“I, er, thought we could walk together. To Hogsmeade.”

 

Hermione frowned and then shrugged. That seemed strange to her, considering that she had just walked all the way from Hogsmeade to the train station in the first place. But at least she would be in a crowd if he tried to murder her. “Alright. So what did you write on the Potions NEWTs for the wurstbocht-jelly concoction?”

 

They started down the path back the way she came. Draco looked flustered and very pink. He also fidgeted a bit next to her. “Oh, I wrote that it has limited usage in today’s world, but that it can still come in handy for healing fairy hexes if applied within twenty-four hours.”

 

“I wrote that too!” Hermione momentarily forgot her wariness of him and looked up, excited. “Except I also added how to tell its expiration date from the different colors of the concoction and...well, some other stuff.”

 

“Oh. Good. That wouldn’t hurt.”

 

Draco thought that it had turned into a very good day indeed, and he almost did not care about the rain ruining his hair, especially since the sun was now peeking out from behind the clouds, sending little rainbows dancing in the water prisms all around them. Of course, it had almost nothing to do with who was walking beside him and talking to him as though they were friends or maybe-even-something-else-although-Draco-didn’t-want-to-think-about-it. His hand might have twitched a time or two hanging at his side only a few inches away from her fingers, but that was okay, because he could wait. After all, he had waited any number of years now.

 

As for Hermione, while her heart as yet yearned for the oblivious and now completely absent Theo, she was glad that someone could succinctly answer the questions she had been wanting to ask ever since she handed in her test papers. Furthermore, her hand was twitching at her side too, but that was because she was wondering if she needed to keep her wand in her hand in case Draco suddenly pushed her into a dark alley.

 

After all, the conversation between them the last time had been a bit disturbing, what with the bit about the constant supervision and spying. It had sounded a bit like when it had been Barty Crouch Jr.-as-Professor Moody preaching “constant vigilance”—

 

Oh, God, it was exactly the same situation as that time! Warning everyone of potential dangers that came from none other than themselves!

 

But that was fine. Hermione hadn’t spent a year surviving in the wilderness for nothing. She was a bit trigger-happy now, but it was all the better in order to defend herself from danger. Not to mention she had grown up as a Muggle, so she could defend herself by stabbing anyone in the eye with anything handy.

 

“Hermione?” Draco suddenly turned to her.

 

It startled her, because she had never heard her name before on his lips. The hex flew out of her wand before she had even voiced the command out loud.

 

“ARGH!!!!!!!” Draco's voice echoed over the buildings of Hogsmeade.

 

From inside one of the buildings, Ginny frowned a little in thought before her expression cleared and she annotated the event in her notebook. She was smirking before she put the notebook away. Before the year was out, she was sure to be well on her own way to being richer than George.

 

_Fin_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all the lovely mods who made this crackfic possible.


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